Magog: Unguarded

If You're Here...

2009-02-03T11:58:00.001-06:00

You should know that we're now over here.

What to Guard?

2008-10-21T11:29:00.001-05:00

Depending on events in the next 2 weeks, we could be the Guards of Obamagog, or of McGog.

Current When It Counts

2008-10-21T11:27:00.002-05:00

I just wanted to point out that of all of The Wolf's blogs, this one is the least-recently-not-posted-to.

On your mark, get set...TWEET!

2007-08-17T16:51:00.000-05:00

Another politician reaching a new level of idiocy:

"Mayor Mark Mallory refuses to fire a starter pistol to kick off an upcoming road race, saying he doesn't like the gun's symbolism in a city that set a record for homicides last year."

They must miss Jerry Springer in Cincy.

For one, a starter pistol isn't even a real gun, not in the sense that Mayor Dingbat thinks, anyway. It can't even fire real bullets. Apparently the only symbolism would involve something like a firecracker.

I assume Mr. Mayor doesn't plan on disarming his police force any time soon. Perhaps such a maneuver would be a little too "symbolic."

Nice Stretch

2007-08-06T11:30:00.001-05:00

Magog's favorite sports columnist, Jay The Joke, on last night's Flubs game:

There was Soriano, steaming around second base and streaking hotter than the evening itself, trying to reach third as would any leadoff hitter worth a fat fortune. But then you saw his teeth, locked in a pained grimace. Then he started to hop on one leg, like a human pogo stick. Finally, he stumbled to the ground in agony.

Um, I don't know what game Jay was watching, but Soriano didn't "stumble to the ground in agony." He clearly pulled up short of third base favoring his right leg, reached down and clutched his lower thigh above the knee. Crumpling to the ground might add dramatic effect for Jay, but it ain't true.

MADD About Harry

2007-08-06T10:45:00.000-05:00

Here's a post on MADD's efforts to further infiltrate our private lives. Interesting that I read that just shortly after reading a passage in the latest Harry Potter book in which Harry (at age 17) imbibes, upon the birth of a friend's child, on a couple goblets of wine. It's a wonder MADD hasn't stormed Barnes & Noble across the country and called for a good old fashioned book-burnin'. Indeed, throughout the entire Potter series there are multiple references to the kids boozing it up and hanging out in taverns. Good thing the series is over or MADD might be demanding that JK Rowling populate the skies over Hogwarts with broomstick checkpoints.

John Roberts

2007-07-30T15:08:00.001-05:00

Had a little accident. Not sure if they took him to the Gerald Ford Wing of the hospital.

Follow The Traffic

2007-07-30T09:30:00.000-05:00

More Cubans leaving by sea again, many to Mexico

After a lull following Fidel Castro's illness last year, Cubans once again are taking to homemade boats or powerful speedboats manned by smugglers on a trip to the United States that often includes a detour through Mexico.

Ignoring the misleading headline, what's wrong with these people? Haven't they heard about the wonders of the "free" healthcare in Cuba? Maybe Michael Moore should waddle down there to offer up a free screening of his new film.

Don't have to live like a refugee

2007-07-25T08:55:00.000-05:00

In the news:

Influx of Iraqi refugees could strain Michigan economy

Well, they could always go to New Haven, CN. Everything is free!

Grim milestone reached

2007-07-24T14:58:00.000-05:00

Max Power alerted me that this is the 1000th post on Magog. It only took us about three times as long as it would take a normal blogger (read: someone who posts at least once between October and July).

With this post, I will note that a certain town in Connecticut should be renamed "New Haven For Criminals." Get it? Ho ho! Yes, New Haven has started issuing ID cards to illegal aliens.

Dozens of people lined up at City Hall on Tuesday for municipal identification cards, the first city-issued ID cards specifically designed to bring illegal immigrants out of the shadows and give them access to community services.

Yeah? And does the cost of those community services come out of the taxes not collected from illegals? What is going to happen when the population swells as illegal immigrants flock to New Haven for the freebies?

An estimated 10,000 to 12,000 of New Haven's 125,000 residents are believed to be in the country illegally.

Get ready for more.

Ray Sanchez, a 36-year-old laborer waiting in line at City Hall with more than 100 others, said the card would also let him get a library card, use banks and learn English. It also would make him feel more safe, he said.

You need an ID card to learn English?

There are methods by which immigrants enter the country legally and become citizens. Amnesty programs that bypass those methods create a huge security issue and are a slap in the face to those that have paid their dues and jumped through hoops to satisfy the law.

Not so staunch

2007-07-24T13:46:00.000-05:00

Following the dust-up last week between the Sun-Times' Jennifer Hunter and various blogs, Hunter has now printed a letter from the subject of her original subject, Jim Ronca.

It appears Mr. Ronca is incensed that anyone would question is conservative cred, which is odd since he has loaned his financial support primarily to Democrats for many years. Reading Ronca's letter, it seems that his defense (as it were) rests on the fact that he had a second cousin some thirty-odd years ago who held office as a Republican in Pennsylvania and he claims supports of some other local Republican politicians.

Of course, it's Ronca's business which candidates he financially supports or votes for. No one ever questioned his right in that regard. What Patterico, Power Line, et al questioned is Hunter's characterization of Ronca as a "staunch" Republican in the face of evidence that he is anything but, and her failure as a journalist to question his claim to be so. Further, in the face of that evidence, Hunter failed to question Ronca or correct her original story. Instead, she attacked the people who brought the facts to light.

Comically, Ronca's letter concludes with a vow "to have some investigation done into the source and funding for this blog." Oooooh, scary! I'm uncertain who "this blog" refers to, since the issue was addressed on several blogs (including the two mentioned above). If Ronca is expecting to find Dark Forces at work he's going to be sadly disappointed. The real names of the authors of Patterico and Power Line are readily available and Mr. Ronca will find that neither is funded by shadowy Republican figures.

Dessicated Twits

2007-07-20T12:55:00.001-05:00

Mark Steyn addresses the common media narrative that troops in Iraq are children who need to be brought home:

You don’t honor the dead by basically making their death a worthless sacrifice, you don’t heal the wounded by saying this is yet another war that America lost because of the emotional mawkish exhibitionism of a lot of self-indulgent and desiccated twits back on the home front. This is not how soldiers think. They’re not children. They’re grown men, they’re doing a more grown up job than most of the people bleating back at home. And they deserve real support, not this kind of misplaced nursery teacher coddling that looks cute on a bumper sticker, but it (sic) utterly meaningless.

He also refers to Andrew Sullivan as a "ninny." I think that's an insult to ninnies everywhere.

She Said, He Didn't

2007-07-20T10:34:00.000-05:00

To summarize the current argument between Senator Clinton and the Pentagon:

CLINTON: Tell me your detailed plans on withdrawal from Iraq.
PENTAGON: If we tell you, our enemies will know. That helps them.
CLINTON: Well, tell me anyway.

Pretty much par for the course, I'd say.

...and IT stands for...International Taxidermy, right?

2007-07-20T10:21:00.000-05:00

Huh? Who did what now?

Yes, I'm an IT professional

2007-07-20T10:18:00.000-05:00

After many attempts to figure out just what Blogger did to cock up access to this blog, Max Power finally figured out how to get us back in business. And it's a good thing too, because I have things to say.

Idle Speculation

2006-10-16T21:20:00.000-05:00

There was some skepticism when North Korea announced their nuclear test, as many were convinced that this was nothing more than further posturing by the rogue state. Last Friday, the test was confirmed.

How ironic would it be, though, if the confirmation of those tests was faked, to send Kim Jong Il and his cronies the old, "careful what you wish for" and justify the current international hue and cry? The retaliatory sanctions may well push a regime already on the verge of economic collapse that much closer to the brink.

I have nothing to back this up, of course... but it sure would be the smart play: whether or not they actually did it, they claimed they did, so go along.

It's All About Priorities

2006-09-25T12:55:00.000-05:00

In the wake of the latest airline terror threat, new restrictions on items allowed aboard flights to/from the US were put in place. But, as this article on MSNBC points out, necessities are necessities:

"The TSA had joined UK officials in instituting a complete ban on hand-carried liquids and gels in the wake of the alert on August 10 in a bid to reduce the threat of so-called composite. Passengers had to pack such items in their checked luggage, and dispose of any items purchased in the airport before boarding their flights."

"The US agency has since relaxed the blanket ban to permit 'small' quantities of prescribed medicines and baby formula, as well as gel-filled bras.

Then again, perhaps necessity is in the eye of the beholder...

"The UK, whose intelligence officials uncovered the alleged August plot, continues to ban all liquids and gels in carry-on baggage, except for essential medicines and baby food. Gel-filled bras are not permitted."

I don't understand economic data

2006-09-14T09:23:00.000-05:00

AP - Retail sales in August posted the weakest showing in two months as worried consumers curbed their spending habits. The Commerce Department reported that the nation's retailers saw a tiny 0.2 percent increase last month following a much bigger 1.4 percent rise in July.

So an increase in sales is a bad thing? Or is it just that the increase wasn't big enough? I guess that would make some sense, except that then sales would have to increase all the time. I'm pretty sure the economy doesn't work like that. And are consumers really worried? Are there vast swatches of people that gear their spending habits based on how they perceive the economy? Aren't these the same Americans that are deeply in debt because they can't control their spending on credit?

Much of the August weakness reflected a sharp slowdown in auto sales, which edged up just 0.4 percent last month after having surged by 4.3 percent in July.

Maybe people buy more cars during the early summer months rather than later, with winter on the horizon. Beats me. I guess someone might want to look into that. Someone who isn't me.

But wait!:

In another report, the Labor Department said that the number of Americans filing claims for unemployment benefits fell to 308,000 last week, down by 5,000 from the previous week. The drop pushed claims to a seven-week low.

That's a good thing, right? Maybe Wal-Mart shackled a few more indentured servants to the rowlocks.

The tiny 0.2 percent rise in retail sales in August was slightly better than analysts had been expecting. They were forecasting an outright decline in sales of around 0.2 percent.

Would someone just tell me if this is good or bad?

Chicago?

2006-09-11T17:58:00.000-05:00

Daniel Engber in Slate asks, "Why Is Chicago So Corrupt?" Well, I won't necessarily argue the broad point that Chicago is corrupt; after all, you can't have that many numbskull Democrat pols around and not expect at least a modicum of corruption, but it's curious why Chicago is targeted when the photo accompanying the front page link includes a picture of former Governor Georgy Ryan (that's ILLINOIS gov, not Chicago gov, Daniel) and the story he links to from the Sun-Times tallies up the guilty parties and finds that less than half of those indicted are explicitly local politicians.

Scary Headline!

2006-08-03T18:32:00.000-05:00

Pentagon generals warn of Iraq civil war

Gaaaaaah!!! The dreaded Iraqi civil war, which the press and Democrats have been warning us was imminent for the past three years, is finally getting off the ground!

Or is it? Let's go to the story!

Two top Pentagon commanders said Thursday that spiraling violence in Baghdad could propel Iraq into outright civil war, using a politically loaded term that the Bush administration has long avoided.

Damn you, term-avoiding administration!

The generals said they believe a full-scale civil war is unlikely.

Oh. Never mind!

Help

2006-07-27T18:46:00.000-05:00

I've got a place for her to stay if she needs to get out.

Another way in which to improve the World Cup

2006-06-22T13:09:00.000-05:00

Hmmm...let's see. How about if the US doesn't lose to fucking Ghana?? This just proves that everything that is great about the World Cup is also everything that sucks about the World Cup. One can almost hear TV sets clicking off around the globe when the next Ghana matchup comes on. I mean, really! Is anyone going to tune in to the inevitable Portugal/Ghana final? [ed. note--I don't even know if Portugal/Ghana is a possible matchup and I don't care. Any jackass who sends me a detailed printout of the WC bracket or whatever they use is earning himself a kick in the junk]

Juggernaut

2006-06-17T15:29:00.000-05:00

I think I just figured out why scoring a goal in soccer is such a remarkable achievement. I'm watching the World Cup match between the US and Italy. The US had a goal disallowed because one of their players was "objstructing the view of the goalkeeper." This is akin to disallowing a home run in baseball because the batter had the audacity to hit the ball.

Um, no

2006-06-13T09:41:00.000-05:00

I've read in several places that Al-Zarqawi was "assassinated." He wasn't. The death of a self-proclaimed leader of a squad of murderous thugs does not get elevated to the level of "assassination." He just got a big bomb dropped on him.

It's like the Chris Rock bit: "Martin Luther King was assassinated. Bobby Kennedy was assassinated. Tupac just got shot!"

UK Times Misleads, Sun-Times Falls In Line

2006-06-06T14:41:00.000-05:00

A few days ago, Michelle Malkin had a post regarding willfully misleading photos that were juxtaposed with a UK Times article about the incident at Haditha. Although they subsequently admitted their error (scroll for updates), well...you know what they say about a lie: it's traveled halfway around the world before the truth gets up in the morning.

Witness the Jack Higgins cartoon from todays Sun-Times:

Look familiar?

If you compare the cartoon with the second photo in Malkin's post, you will see that Higgins clearly modeled his drawing after that photo. The one problem being, as Malkin clearly outlines, that the photo is of fishermen murdered by terrorists back in November. They have nothing to do with the Haditha incident.

There may well be Marines found guilty in this matter. Can we at least have the decency to allow the investigation to continue before we have public hangings in our media outlets?

After further review...

2006-05-17T08:38:00.000-05:00

Jon Henke at QandO comments on the latest Pentagon video released by the gummint:

If you think video of a plane hitting the Pentagon will make 9/11 conspiracy theorists re-think their conspiracy theories. . .well, you don't know conspiracy theorists.

Well, yeah. There is lots of video of planes hitting the World Trade Center and the subsequent collapse of the buildings. That doesn't seemed to have slowed the nuts down either. That includes the willfully ignorant like Charlie Sheen.

Obvious Concern Noted

2006-04-27T15:47:00.000-05:00

Egyptian resort fears slump in tourism

Yeah, a strong fear of being blown to bits will do that. It tends not to occur in Cozumel or, say, Bermuda.

Upcoming Question for the Media?

2006-04-24T08:51:00.001-05:00

From Reuters:

LONDON (Reuters) - For now, there may be more symbol than substance in Osama bin Laden's call for jihad in Darfur, but that could change if U.N. peacekeepers go to Sudan's troubled western region, al Qaeda experts said on Monday.
Most doubted the Saudi-born militant had any direct links with Arab militias involved in the Darfur conflict, but said his appeal, in an audiotape broadcast on Sunday, could inspire violent resistance to any U.N. military mission there.
'I don't believe it will have an impact until there are U.N. troops in Darfur,' said Kamil al-Tawil, an expert on Islamist groups who writes for London's al-Hayat newspaper.
'If Darfur becomes a U.N. mandate in spite of the Sudanese government's opposition, people will flock there. I fear it could be another Iraq,' he said."

Yes, but how do we blame Bush for this?

wolf update: Darfur should be so lucky to become another Iraq.

Couldn't have said it better myself

2006-03-31T14:37:00.000-06:00

"Protests" by illegals have reached a new level of absurdity.

John Hawkins speaks for all rational people:

“We’ve now gotten to the point where non-Americans, who are in the country illegally, are out in public, demanding, in Spanish, that they be given things. Meanwhile, we have plenty of politicians in Washington and across the country, from both parties, who believe we should cater to these people instead of deporting them in accordance with the law.”

Dumb Idea Of The Day

2006-03-29T08:20:00.000-06:00

Law Professor Bans Laptops in Class

Yep, that's dumb. Why? Read on:

Professor June Entman says her main concern is that students are so busy keyboarding they can't think and analyze what she's telling them.

So "keyboarding" is more distracting than "writing?" Perhaps Professor Entman prefers her students try to memorize everything she tells them?

I expect the real bug up the good Prof's butt is that the students are doing everything but paying attention to her. Well, if that's the case then they'll be graded accordingly. Don't know why Entman thinks she has to save the kids from themselves.

Please stop looking to celebrities for answers

2006-03-21T08:23:00.000-06:00

Sharon Stone edifies us all with her comments about the Middle East:

"It feels to me that we have an opportunity ... to choose understanding in a new way," she told a press conference in Paris when asked about her trip.

"And it really is just a breath. It's just an agreement that's just a breath. We are not far apart. We can choose to have this alternative kind of growth that is a collective nuance of understanding.

Thanks for clearing that up, dear.

Is Sheryl Crow A Man?

2006-03-16T08:05:00.000-06:00

This may be the result of an unfortunate angle, lighting, or steroids, but why does the once-fetching Sheryl Crow look like a fellow?

Jury's out.

Boy, 12, Sticks Gum on $1.5M Painting

2006-03-01T15:35:00.000-06:00

He could only have improved it

Actually, I kind of like it. But $1.5 million? I'm in the wrong business.

Governor Not Hip

2006-02-24T17:12:00.000-06:00

Our own Governor Rod was asked to appear on Comedy Central's The Daily Show and apparently was not aware that it was a comedy show. Despite the fact that everyone in the civilized world knows that and it is on a cable station known as COMEDY Central.

Not hip

Mohammed Is A Terrorist

2006-02-24T11:00:00.000-06:00

His Head Is Da Bomb

Triple Plotz

2006-02-15T10:58:00.000-06:00

Granted, I never really paid a whole lot of attention to the events before, but is it just my imagination or is everyone really bad at figure skating in the Olympics this year? It seems rare to see anyone make it through without falling down -- much to the commentators' dismay and my amusement at their dismay.

This little analysis of Figure Skating coverage was written for the 2002 games, but is as true today as it was then, and sent me into fits of laughter. Enjoy.

Johnny Weird

2006-02-15T10:08:00.000-06:00

U.S. figure skater Johnny Weir is here to rock the skating world, and he wants you to know it:

“I know that a lot of people, especially the more Republican-style people, are very afraid of what I mean to the sport and what I’m going to say, what kind of revolutionary, crazy things are going to come out of my mouth. Good for them, they should be scared.”

As a "Republican-style" person, all I can say is that I am appalled (and scared!) that the USOC is allowing Johnny Weir to "gay up" the macho sport of figure skating. Somewhere Brian Boitano is sitting around with three of his hot girlfriends thinking, "Man, this ain't what it was like in the old days." And then he'll escort his ladies to the bedroom. The old days are gone, Brian my friend...the old days are gone.

Via Deadspin.

Which one is the clown?

2006-02-15T07:52:00.000-06:00

And this has what to do with Danish cartoons?

I assume they didn't order the sausage and egg McMuffin.

Unsafe At Any Speed

2006-02-14T08:32:00.000-06:00

I'd rather be in Vegas, actually

Cheney Shoots Hunting Companion

2006-02-12T15:47:00.000-06:00

The Vice President sprayed a hunting companion, Harry Whittington, today on a hunting trip in Texas. Writers for Jay Leno and David Letterman are overjoyed.

Harry Whittington

Merciful Fish

2006-02-09T11:33:00.000-06:00

From today's Sun-Times:

Cans of tuna and other fish sold in Chicago would have to carry labels warning consumers of potentially high levels of mercy, under yet another ordinance proposed by Burke.

Supply Chain

2006-02-03T13:07:00.000-06:00

By now, everyone even vaguely awake knows about the uproar in certain parts of the world over these cartoons of Mohammad.

In addition to a general boycott on Danish products (not sure I know what these would really be, though), there are mass protests and lots and lots of flag burning and chanting.

My question is this: how do people in the Middle East always seem to be able to find these flags to use in their protests? I wouldn't know the first place to look to go buy a Danish flag here on short notice. Yet they seem to be sold on every corner down there. Do local shopkeepers stock large numbers of flags from around the world in case someone does something disagreeable?

Yes, I'm side-stepping the First Amendment vs. journalistic ethics question for now, and focusing solely on the matter of logistics.

UPDATE: This guy has a list of Danish products that one can either buy or boycott, depending on which side of the fence you call home.

* White Fita cheese loose
* Butter kind Lurpak
* Milk NIDO
* Danfoss
* VELUX
* LEGO

Incidentally, (sic) on all of the above.

The only thing on here I recognize is Lego. I didn't realize that Lego exports were enough to make or break an economy.

Still no word on how protest-flag-supply works.

She Gets No Respect

2006-02-02T12:25:00.000-06:00

Senator Hillary Clinton's Rodney Dangerfield impression needs work.

Eek.

The Debate Continues...

2006-01-30T10:45:00.000-06:00

I'm not really sure which side of the fence this kid is on.

Cave Men?

2006-01-24T17:59:00.000-06:00

I'm not sure how to reconcile this:

GOOGLE will today cave in to pressure from the Chinese Government by launching a local website that strips out information not approved by the Communist authorities.
The company, whose motto is "Don't be evil," is launching a version of its site that restricts Chinese people from searching for information about Tibetan independence or the 1989 Tiananmen Square massacre.

...with this:

The company is refusing to cooperate with the Bush administration's demand to see what millions of Google customers have been looking up online.

It's not even relevant whether or not I happen to agree in one of the cases... the point is that it's inconsistent. Sure, one is about protecting data privacy and the other is about -- uh, "enforced" data privacy -- but it's still caving into the government in one instance and "standing firm" in another.

If anyone had any illusions about a company this size doing anything out of a sense of principle, I think it's safe to dismiss them at this point. These decisions are made solely with the bottom line in mind. That's just fine by the stock holders (wish I was one), and it's not likely to change anytime soon. And assuming one has reasonable expectations, I guess no problem... but hopefully this will quash rumors of "Google standing up to Bush" out of some sense of ethics. It all boils down to getting people to use the website, plain and simple.

Hmm... They Don't LOOK Tidy...

2006-01-24T17:43:00.000-06:00

This morning on the way to work, a question came to mind like a bolt out of the white -- er, blue. How much does one get paid for dressing like a giant pair of mens' briefs? Not the best photo, I know, but give me a break... I was driving. Trust me, though, it was giant underwear, complete with elastic waistband and tag.

And what happens when they get muddy?

Holmgren Charged In Post-game Murder

2006-01-15T10:06:00.000-06:00

Seattle - In a bizarre and unexpected post-game ritual, Seattle Seahawks coach Mike Holmgren charged onto the playing field, seized the first exuberant Seahawks fan he could find and crushed his skull with his bare hands. Ted Farley, known to his friends as "Peanut Ted," was pronounced dead at the 33-yard line.

"Ted was the biggest 'hawks fan that I knew," said his longtime friend and fellow season-ticket holder, Phil Sacks. "He was so excited when the clock ticked down to zero, he just wanted to give Coach Holmgren a big hug. I couldn't believe when Holmgren grabbed him like a vise with those big paws. I was speechless."

Asked why Farley was referred to as "Peanut Ted," Sacks informed TGOM that "Ted had this tiny head. Well, he was only about five-three as it was, but he had this tiny head. Maybe that's why Holmgren picked him out, I don't know. It's just messed up.

Holmgren, meanwhile, was placed under arrest and taken to King County Jail, where he was released after the team posted $100,000 bond. No date has been set for his arraignment.

"It's just the most bizarre circumstance we've had to face after a game," said King County Sheriff Blaine Cocksworth. "We usually focus on crowd control, especially after a big playoff game like this. You don't expect the mayhem to come from the players or coaching staff."

When asked if the Sheriff's Department would handle post-game security differently because of the incident, Cocksworth was not certain. "Well, this seems like a one-off to me, but the NFL can be faddish. I hope this isn't something that catches on, like endzone dances or spiking the ball. That could be trouble.

Holmgren gets Farley in a death grip.

Lunch With W

2006-01-06T14:50:00.000-06:00

I got to attend a luncheon today where the guest speaker was none other than the President of the United States. I had chicken.

It was a good speech, with a few well-timed jokes and several interesting updates on the economy (it was an Economics Club of Chicago meeting, after all).

One shocking update, however: things aren't as awful as the general media would have you believe. It turns out that the country may not be as hopelessly mired in disaster as we've been hearing. I know... imagine.

Hail to the Chief (Illiniwek)

2006-01-05T16:32:00.000-06:00

Read it. Maybe twice.

Hat tip to the Wolf for reading it first.

Who is looking out for the others maligned by the Big Ten? I'm speaking, of course, of badgers, gophers, hawkeyes, buckeyes, people from Sparta (or those without many furnishings), wolverines, lions (nittany or otherwise), wildcats, anyone who makes or has ever made a boiler, and of course whatever the hell a Hoosier is.

With over half of the teams represented by animals, it's a wonder PETA hasn't begun picketing sporting events.

I am not handy

2006-01-04T13:19:00.000-06:00

Hog On Ice laments his lack of handyman skills. I can empathize, but while his family was largely tool-ignorant, I grew up in a house where some of my dad's skills should have rubbed off on me but didn't. It's not that I didn't have exposure to it either; when I was growing up, my father did some substantial work on our house and I was usually around to help out. We gutted the bathroom, installed a new bathtub and shower, re-tiled the walls. I only have vague recollections of how I helped (measuring, cutting tiles, etc). For whatever reason, although I was deeply immersed in these activities, none of it stuck with me. Not a lick.

The funny thing is, I knew at the time that I would never be handy. I recall discussing it with one of my high school classmates at the time. We both agreed that we just assumed we'd go to college and make enough money to pay someone else to do what we were incapable of doing. Yes, I know...the line forms to the right, ladies.

They say this kind of skill skips a generation, but that's not true in my family. My brother is extremely crafty, even moreso than my dad. He works for a tool company, for chrissake. A couple of months ago, he was cutting some wood on a table saw. Aforementioned wood decided to fly off the blade, nearly severing two of his fingertips. He went to the hospital, had them surgically reattached and two hours later was home eating dinner. I think I'd still be in ICU.

Recently I found that my toilet was leaking (from the tank to the bowl), which caused it to auto-flush every 5-10 minutes. I replaced the flapper. It didn't work. I'm all out of ideas. Now I turn the water on when I need to use the toilet and then turn it off immediately thereafter. I have really bad luck with toilets.

My set of tools consists of a cordless screwdriver, some assorted other screwdrivers and some wrenches. Oh, and a hammer. I have a hacksaw, too, but I only bought that last summer when I tried to assemble my deck furniture, put the legs of the table on backwards and then had to hack through the screw because I couldn't untighten it. I turned a one-hour assembly job into a sweaty four-hour nightmare that required two trips to the hardware store.

My brother worked with his church group one night a week, fixing cars for fellow churchgoers that couldn't afford repairs. I can't change my own oil. I changed a spark plug once. I felt like an Indy pit crew member.

I've been eyeing flat-screen LCD TVs lately. I think I can afford it but frankly I'm not sure if I can deal with the inevitable humiliation that will ensue when trying to set it up.

Journalism...a new low

2006-01-04T13:06:00.000-06:00

For a brief period last night/this morning, many believed that the West Virginia coal miners had been found alive, thanks to unsubstantiated reports from the likes of CNN's Anderson Cooper and MSNBC's Rita Cosby. Two hours passed before the initial joy was turned to horror as they learned the truth--that all but one miner was found dead.

Apparently, many in the MSM have not learned the lessons of Katrina about perpetrating wild, unconfirmed stories. The kicker is that both Cooper and Cosby have laid blame at the feet of the mining company, not for providing false information, but for not correcting the media's false reports. As if it's their job.

This will usher in a new era in journalism in which reporters are so keenly aware that their asses can be fact-checked that they don't bother to validate anything. They just blurt out every rumor and half-truth they hear and hope that someone else does their research for them. Hey, it worked during Rathergate.

"5... 4... 3... 2... 1... 1... Happy New Year!"

2005-12-28T07:50:00.000-06:00

Timekeepers are planning to delay the start of the New Year for an instant later this week, when they add one second to official clocks.

One second??? But I want it now...

Prepare for mass confusion in Times Square this year.

Christmas mentioned

2005-12-27T12:44:00.000-06:00

'Christmas famine' kills 20 in north Kenya

Suddenly fears of calling "Christmas" what it is are put aside. In Kenya, shouldn't it more properly be called a "Kwanzaa famine?"

Man with too much time on his hands

2005-12-26T19:40:00.000-06:00

LONDON (AFP) - A British man is giving a whole new meaning to begging to be loved as he set off on a 55-mile (88.5 kilometres) crawl on his hands and knees to find a partner.

With a sign saying "Could you Love Me?" strapped to his back and 18 boxes of chocolates trailing behind him on string tied to his wrists and ankles, Mark McGowan began his unusual quest to find a girlfriend.

Must be tired of the bar scene.

His route will take him from the site of the Tabard Inn, in Southwark, south London, to Canterbury Cathedral, following the pilgrims' trail made famous in 14th century author Geoffrey Chaucer's "Canterbury Tales".

Little known fact that Chaucer intended to finish with "The Idiot's Tale."

The 37-year-old performance artist, who said he is also hoping to raise awareness of people left lonely and isolated during the festive period, is hoping to complete the back-breaking task within 30 days.

"I can remember one Christmas I wasn't in a relationship and didn't want to spend it with my family. I ended up cooking two fish fingers. I'm sure a lot of people have had that experience," he said during a well-earned break en-route.

No, I'm sure most people with family will spend the holiday with them instead of choosing to be at home, miserable, cooking frozen fish. Dumbass.

"Some people can spend Christmas in utter desperation and misery and find it difficult to cope with. I hope this encourages people to maybe invite someone over."

Your crawling will surely open their eyes.

McGowan, from Peckham, south London, is no stranger to bizarre stunts or being so close to the tarmac: in 2003 he spent two weeks rolling a monkey nut with his nose seven miles to Downing Street to protest against student debt.

I hope a monkey nut is actually, you know, a nut.

Earlier this year he attempted to cartwheel 57 miles from Brighton to London to highlight the problem of people taking stones from beaches to decorate their gardens. He was forced to give up with a twisted back after four days.

I hope they used the stones to hurl at him instead.

And in 2002, he rolled across London singing "We Wish You A Merry Christmas" in an attempt to get people to be nicer to cleaners.

Good lord.

On May 5 this year -- polling day for Britain's general election -- he planted 100,000 kisses on a laminated picture of Prime Minister Tony Blair.

This guy is lonely? You don't say.

McGowan is single.

I can't imagine why.

Europeans Clamber For Moral High Ground

2005-12-14T12:34:00.000-06:00

As if another article describing Europe's dissatisfaction comes as a shock to anyone. The opening paragraph is a killer:

The execution of convicted killer Stanley Tookie Williams sparked outrage Tuesday in Europe, where many have a deep aversion to capital punishment sustained by the memory of state-organized murder during the Nazi era.

Yeah, ok, Hans. Executing a murderer with multiple convictions is the same as Nazis doing what?

UPDATE: I got into a little dust-up in the comments of this post. The prevailing reasoning (if it can be called that) of the left regarding the Tookie Williams situation is this:

Nazis killed people.

Americans are killing Tookie Williams.

Americans are Nazis.

QED

Sorry, but that facile argument doesn't wash.

Finally, a president Norman Finkelstein can get behind!

2005-12-14T09:54:00.000-06:00

Iran's Ahmadinejad says Holocaust a myth

Uma Thurman Loves Me

2005-12-07T18:40:00.000-06:00

Here's proof. She said so. Stop calling me a liar.

Breaking News

2005-12-07T12:19:00.000-06:00

Mel Gibson to create Holocaust mini-series

No word yet on whether Norman Finkelstein will be there to deny it.

A Date Which Will Live In Infamy

2005-12-07T11:39:00.000-06:00

Today is the 64th anniversary of the Japanese surprise attack on Pearl Harbor. To put the WoT in perspective, over 2,400 Americans died on that day alone.

December 7, 1941

Good December, To You

2005-12-06T22:48:00.000-06:00

People seem to be finally noticing that the Christmas has been taken out of Christmas. Retailers have been caving to the Left's pressure and secularizing the holiday season (trying to change it back to a celebration of the solstice, perhaps?). For some reason -- I'm surprised it took this long -- the straw that broke the dromedary's back was the renaming of the Christmas tree.

The religious right's latest cause célèbre has some retailers' heads spinning. A decade ago, businesses were catching flak from left-leaning groups for using terms like "Christmas" that might be perceived to exclude non-Christians.

"I'm not sure what's politically correct," says David Vite, the president and CEO of the Illinois Retail Merchants Assn. "This is about goodwill and glad tidings and not worrying about 100% precise political correctness. Let's get over it and get on with it."

Funny that no one lambasted the "atheist Left's cause célèbre" back when the shift to secularism started. Mr. Vite inadvertently makes the point himself. He's not sure what's politically correct anymore... so why not just call things what they are, and forget about appeasing the liberals? If it's a Christmas tree, then sell it as a Christmas tree.

Then tell the secular protesters to "get over it and get on with it." I promise I'll back you up.

Angry Saddam tells court to 'go to hell'

2005-12-06T13:40:00.000-06:00

After you, sir!

Early Adopters

2005-11-29T15:48:00.000-06:00

I resisted making an early purchase of the Xbox 360, mostly because the enhancements from the original Xbox are in graphics more than gameplay, and the graphic improvements are only experienced through HDTV, which I don't have. Despite my penchant for buying new and shiny objects, I've been a stalwart in the TV department. My TV is so old I think it has screenburn from the original Nintendo.

But it looks like I made a wise decision to steer clear of the newest-fangled game system, because people are reporting problems.

On the Teamxbox.com site, run by Fox Interactive unit IGN Entertainment, a poll on the forums indicated that between 14 and 16 percent of respondents are having problems with their machines.

Users have reported that their machines shut down after only about a half hour of play, and troubleshooting efforts uncovered heating issues.

Well, that can't be good. How do you feel about $400 for 30 minutes of uninterrupted gameplay, followed by an unceremonious machine meltdown? I don't think Microsoft should minimize the problem, because 16% of the 1.8 million sold amounts to 288,000 machines. Gad! In fairness, "only" 600 complaints have been registered on the aforementioned site. Then again, I would be back at my retail store looking for a replacement if this happened to me.

Of course, by the time I upgrade my TV we may be on the third of fourth Xbox generation.

Danger Zone

2005-11-28T14:21:00.000-06:00

I got a laugh out of this letter to Mark Steyn:

If you consider that there have been an average of 160,000 troops in the Iraq theater of operations during the last 22 months, and a total of 2112 deaths, that gives a firearm death rate of 60 per 100,000. The rate in Washington D.C. is 80.6 per 100,000. That means that you are about 25% more likely to be shot and killed in our Nation's Capitol, which has some of the strictest gun control laws in the nation, than you are in Iraq. Conclusion: We should immediately pull out of Washington D.C.

Memory Loss

2005-11-22T09:58:00.000-06:00

Wild Bill is at it again:

Clinton, a Democrat who left office at the start of 2001, said he had personally never seen any intelligence linking Iraq to al-Qaida, and "no one I knew believed that was the case."

Hmmm...remember the indictment of bin Laden? Let's look at count 4 from the grand jury:

Al Qaeda also forged alliances with the National Islamic Front in the Sudan and with the government of Iran and its associated terrorist group Hezballah for the purpose of working together against their perceived common enemies in the West, particularly the United States. In addition, al Qaeda reached an understanding with the government of Iraq that al Qaeda would not work against that government and that on particular projects, specifically including weapons development, al Qaeda would work cooperatively with the Government of Iraq.

It's so easy to fact-check these liars.

It Practically Blogs Itself

2005-11-21T14:19:00.000-06:00

Careful with this one... there's so much spin that you'll end up dizzy.

The violence that swept predominantly Muslim communities in some 300 cities and towns in France for three weeks has abated and "we are back to normal," French Ambassador Jean-David Levitte said Monday.

"Normal," here could either mean that they're back to ignoring these folks ('oppressing would imply that they get enough attention for that, even'), or simply that the Great Renault Roast of 2005 has died down to glowing embers.

"It was not about the role of Islam in France," he said. "We never saw any link, direct or indirect," the French diplomat said. "Religion played no role."

No role, of course, other than being the one thing the agitated masses had in common.

"Levitte also suggested 'the word 'riot' is a bit too strong' to describe the disturbances and that while thousands of automobiles were destroyed and scores of police officers injured, there were only a handful of fatalities, in contrast to the 1992 Los Angeles riots that left 55 people dead and $1 billion in property damage.

Ah, there it is. It's not a riot unless a sufficient number of people are killed (maiming doesn't count!). And it takes place in the United States. Sure, we would call it that, since we use the American Heritage Dictionary:

1. A wild or turbulent disturbance created by a large number of people.
2. A violent disturbance of the public peace by three or more persons assembled for a common purpose.

Yep... clearly a gross misuse of that particular term. Finally, an example of irresponsible media. Tsk, tsk. No word from Monsieur L'Ambassadeur on what this should be called yet.

Getting back to the article...

The French have invoked those riots in the past, by way of criticizing U.S. policies. In 1992, then President Francois Mitterrand suggested that France would avoid such strife because of its generous social programs."

Not difficult to find a record of that particular bit of snottery.

BACK IN 1992, when cars were burning in Los Angeles, not Paris, French President Francois Mitterrand thought he knew why. It was, he explained, because of the "absence of social legislation and protection" in a "conservative and economically capitalist" country.
"There can be no comparison between us and what happens elsewhere," he assured his countrymen, "for France is the country where the level of social protection is the highest in the world."

One thing they fail to realize, in France, is that protecting one group in society from another group in the same society isn't quite what people have in mind when looking for "social protection."

Almost have to give them credit, though, for skillfully adopting the "things weren't as bad as you took them to be" approach. Talk about revisionist history. This history isn't even in the past yet, and it's been revised...more like 'revisionist current events.'

Al-Reuters, a week late, all wrong again

2005-11-16T14:14:00.000-06:00

Al-Reuters has picked up on the white phosphorus non-story here. The story made its way around the blogosphere last week and was debunked pretty thoroughly. Gotta love this "reporting":

Venable said white phosphorus is not outlawed or banned by any convention. However, a protocol to the 1980 Convention on Conventional Weapons forbids using incendiary weapons against civilians or against military targets amid concentrations of civilians.

The United States did not sign the protocol.

Oh, the drama. Yes, the US didn't sign the protocol in 1980, for reasons that are a little fuzzy--I suspect it had something to do with the Soviets and their untrustworthiness--but I found this press release from way back in 1996:

The U.S. has ratified the 1980 Convention on Conventional Weapons (CCW), which constrains the use of certain weapons, including landmines. The U.S. led the international effort to strengthen CCW restrictions on landmine use, adopted in 1996.

So whatever the US did or didn't do in 1980 bears little relevance today. The fact is the news media is treating white phosphorus as if it is mustard gas, or worse. The best debunking came from an Instapundit reader a week ago:

Just wanted to comment on the allegations going 'round about "indiscriminate" use of white phosphorus against civilians. I'm a former armor officer and Vietnam vet who has used WP on quite a number of occasions. So far as I know it is no longer made for tank (or Bradley) guns, but is fired by artillery and at times by mortars.

We use WP as a marking round, because it makes a nice column of white smoke that's easy to see. The most common use is with air strikes and helicopters -- you can direct them in relation to the smoke column and thus avoid hitting your own troops or civilians. I suppose you could use it as an incendiary (and it says so in the book) but I've never seen it used that way, because it's not very efficient.

So did we use WP in Fallujah? Maybe -- but the effects would have been quite limited because the burst radius is about 150' (that for a 155mm shell), and it only affects people who get some particles of it on them. We also have a non-WP smoke round that we use for screening.

Now, WP is nasty stuff, no doubt. If you get it on you it will burn you badly and it's very difficult to extinguish. But it's not a "chemical" weapon except in the sense that any non-nuke is a chemical weapon i.e. it works by means of a chemical reaction. Nor is it in any sense banned by any sort of international convention. Some of the drivel coming from these so-called human right organizations is unbelievable -- that people can be burned or "caramalized" (what does that mean?) without their clothes burning. WP will burn anything it comes in contact with.

Or...that WP creates a killing toxic "cloud." I'm sure breathing the smoke isn't the best thing for you, but Sarin it ain't. Both these statements ought to be your clue that you're dealing with pure BS.

It always amazes me what people will believe, but apparently there is a segment of the MSM that will believe anything as long as it's anti-American.

UPDATE: Apparently, saying that the "US ratified the 1980 CCW" is a bit of an overstatement. I was corrected succinctly in the comments here.

Not all horse's asses are on horses

2005-11-16T09:14:00.000-06:00

It's not like there's a war on or anything.

As if it weren't bad enough having Jimmy "Malaise" Carter undermining US interests at every opportunity, we now have former Chief Buffoon Clinton skipping around the globe doing the same thing. This latest bit of idiocy has old Bill in Dubai announcing that the invasion of Iraq was a "big mistake." I guess when he signed the Iraq Liberation Act back in '98 he was just kidding. In December of that same year, Bill told us:

"But once more, the United States has proven that although we are never eager to use force, when we must act in America's vital interests, we will do so."

Unless using force means, you know, using force.

Clinton did however say that the United States had done some good things in Iraq: the removal of Saddam, the ratification of a new constitution, and the holding of parliamentary elections.

Oh, those things. Take out the trash, mow the lawn, ratify a new constitution. I'm at a loss to say how all that would have been accomplished without the "big mistake" of invading Iraq.

Are You Kidding Me?

2005-11-12T23:38:00.000-06:00

Seriously. You have got to be kidding me.

Why on earth do Jesse "Shakedown" Jackson and Ralph Nader feel the need to weigh in on this? And why would anyone listen to them?

Andy Reid was quite clear that there were numerous reasons for Owens's suspension. Why can't these jokers just accept that this is an employer-employee matter, and leave it at that? Not everything requires their involvement.

Veteran's Day

2005-11-11T10:17:00.000-06:00

To the brave men and women who serve this great country and defend freedom around the world,

Thank You.

Sony Spyware

2005-11-11T10:02:00.000-06:00

The hidden, virtually unremovable software that companies like Sony are forcing people to install before being able to listen to licensed, purchased music is making headlines, not only due to privacy concerns, but also to the security risks being created.

Now, Sony is telling the media that they'll back off, for now. This article isn't quite accurate, because Sony isn't making it any easier for people to uninstall the spyware... they're simply finally acknowledging that people might want to do so.

I happen to have unwittingly purchased one of these DRM-protected CDs. Mine was restricted using an earlier version of DRM, so I'm not sure if I have this latest security hole, or not, but I decided to contact the supplier (in this case Sunncomm) to provide me with an uninstall. Ironically, you have to install an ActiveX control to even attempt the uninstall. In my case, it didn't even work, so now I have two mysterious pieces of software on my PC. Great. I've sent another e-mail to Sunncomm to follow up. Who knows if I'll get anywhere.

Now get this:

The ridiculous part of this whole fiasco is that this DRM restriction doesn't even work. When I first purchased this particular CD a month ago, I was annoyed that it immediately installed something on my hard drive (that I couldn't uninstall or locate), but at least I could listen to the music on my PC. This was great at first, but wasn't very portable. My PC gets heavy after a few minutes.

So I tried to import the songs into my trusty iPod. No luck, since Apple won't play along with Microsoft on this one, and therefore for one reason or another iTunes isn't able to open or convert these DRM-protected WMA files. So, officially, I'm only allowed to listen to the music I bought on my PC via Sonyware or Media Player, or load tracks onto a Microsoft-approved MP3 player.

Right. Like I'm going to settle for that.

Here's where it gets really technical and I explain how to bypass the DRM technology and enable myself to listen to the music I bought legally on a device that I also legally own... ready?

1 - I used Windows Media player to burn a music CD with all of the tracks.
2 - Then I used iTunes to import that CD and convert the tracks to MP3 files.

... I'll wait for everyone to catch up...

That's right; two steps. And I'm not even from Texas.

The entire process takes about 10 minutes, and results in a well-stocked iPod, and a CD completely devoid of any DRM technology which, were I so inclined, I could share with absolutely anyone. I'm tempted, if only out of irritation, but of course I would never do such a thing. That would be wrong.

The point, in the end, for companies like Sony is that it's time for them to rethink a few things. If they don't want to sell music, then fine. Others will. If they don't trust their customers, then they shouldn't do business with them. But loading spyware and opening private PCs to hackers isn't the answer. And people will always find a way to defend their rights.

I see London, I see France

2005-11-10T14:33:00.000-06:00

The French response to rioters has been given and it's pretty much what anyone would expect, knowing the history of the French. This time, they've only metaphorically dropped their rifles:

Instead, the Prime Minister has announced ‘a raft of measures’, although, as rafts go, this one doesn’t seem likely to make it to shore. The measures include ‘the creation of an anti-discrimination agency’, ‘20,000 job contracts with local government agencies’ reserved for those in the less fashionable arrondissements, an extra E100 million for ‘associations’ in said neighbourhoods, etc.

The children threw a tantrum and they gave them more candy. Fantastic. I'm sure that will discourage further problems.

Favre's future might be tied to Sherman's

2005-11-04T18:11:00.000-06:00

Ready the Wayback Machine

How Do You Surrender To Your Own Citizens?

2005-11-03T14:59:00.000-06:00

I guess you would need an effective military (and the stones to use it) to be able to declare martial law. Stay tuned to this situation, to see what rifle-droppers do when the kettle boils over (I know I'm curious).

Update from the wolf: At the risk of sounding melodramatic, I think we may look back on this years from now and recognize that the war for Europe began in October, 2005. The question is if France is going to succumb meekly or fight for its existence. I don't care for their track record in this area.

My thoughts on Judge Alito

2005-10-31T10:15:00.000-06:00

Alito!
Whoa whoa WHOA-OA-OA-OA-OA-OA!

Julia Keller

2005-10-27T14:53:00.000-05:00

Has the best shade-pull on the Series here. That is just damn good writing. Excerpt:

A city that can never quite figure out where it belongs in the world is now sitting on top of it. A city that gets tired of apologizing for not being New York or Los Angeles suddenly doesn't have to apologize for anything. It's a great and glorious moment, and yes, it will pass, superseded by other moments.

Like U.S. Cellular Field, that even now is hunkering down like a big iron barrel stave, waiting for the return of spring, it's enough that this day is what it is. We know what we have. We know who we are: Winners, for the blink of an eye, for the length of a lifetime.

Postscript

2005-10-27T09:04:00.000-05:00

Last night I didn't have much to say about the World Series. It was pretty late, I was tired and, frankly, drained from an endless string of nail-biters. It was really fun to watch (in retrospect, of course; my ulcer treatments will have to begin soon) and I thought I'd never see a baseball championship in this town. The last out was surreal for me--I kept thinking there had to be another game to play, another team to defeat, another series to sweat through. But, no, this was it. It was over and my team had won it all.

If you had told me 25 years ago that it would take, well, another 25 years to witness this I would have been, on the one hand, very disappointed at the notion of waiting a quarter-century to do it but, on the other hand, thrilled that it actually would happen.

When I was wee lad, I grew up in a house that didn't have Cubs/Sox divisions. Honestly, I don't remember there being any type of Cubs/Sox division. Certainly not in my Northwest Side neighborhood. Not among relatives or friends, not in school...not anywhere. There were allegiances of course; my eldest sister has always been a rabid White Sox fan and my dad grew up in his earliest years near Comiskey Park. My youngest sister and I, having been indoctrinated into baseball early in our pint-sized years, favored the Cubs and were even allowed to travel to games by ourselves. Imagine that nowadays: two kids, 12 and 9 (or thereabouts), taking two buses and attending a ballgame by themselves. We would have enough money to ride the bus, purchase grandstand tickets ($1.50 each!), and buy a hot dog and a Coke. And it was all we needed. Back in those days, the grandstand seats were the sections in the lower deck at Wrigley that began just past the support posts. And they were general admission so if you were like us, you'd get there just before the gates opened, charge up to the first row behind the boxes--we always sat on the first base line between home and first--and hunker down for batting practice. On most days, because the Cubs played day games exclusively and because they weren't that good, we had little competition. Good times.

So how did I make my transition to favor the team from the South Side? Well, I recall the first game I went to at old Comiskey. The Sox were playing the Twins. It was back in the days when they had that goofy artificial turf infield and real grass outfield. An affront to the baseball gods and quite possibly one of the reasons we have been punished with non-winners all these years! Anyway, compared with my familiar route to Wrigley, going to Comiskey was like traveling to a foreign country. My conversion didn't begin right then.

Then came 1977.

In 1977, I was a 13-year-old punk. Ok, I wasn't a punk, but I was 13 and that's bad enough. My aforementioned Sox fan sister decided that was the year that she would introduce me to night games at Comiskey. And I was hooked. Big crowds, boozing, brawling...I loved it all. All I could think to myself was, "This is where I want to hang out. This is cool." And the Sox had the South Side Hit Men that season, really mostly a bunch of second-rate players that played way over their heads for a good portion of the season, ultimately losing out to the hated, and much more talented, Kansas City Royals. But that was a great year. Almost every game we would wait for the players to come out afterward, just to get a glimpse and maybe an autograph. For night games that was kind of scary, because that meant hanging around as late as 11:30-12:00am and then taking two els and a bus home. To be diplomatic, the area around Comiskey was, ahem, vaguely threatening in those days. My parents used to get piiiiiiiiiiissed. My sister took me to 21 games that season and I saw every team except the Yanks. You know, because screw them. Or maybe we couldn't get tickets, I don't remember.

This is not about Cubs vs. Sox. To me that is just wasted energy. This is just my reflection on how I came to be sitting on my couch in 2005, stomach curdling as Bobby Jenks tried to salt away a 1-0 win.

By '83 I was old enough to attend games with my friends. Another year that was a total blast. In those days (how much of an old man am I?), you could get a "bleacher" ticket for three bucks. The bleachers at that time consisted of the benches beyond the 445-foot center field wall. There was room for maybe 1000 people there. But we sat there whenever we could, soaking up the atmosphere and hoping the beer vendors wouldn't card us. My favorite memory from that season was a Monday night game against the Yankees, back when they had Monday Night Baseball. Yep, Howard Cosell was in the house. The Sox were rolling then, it was probably July or August. They pummelled the Yanks that night and Greg Luzinski jacked a home run onto the left field roof. Beautiful stuff. We had dreams of the World Series that night.

Alas, it was not to be. The Sox, of course, did win their division that season, compiling an identical record to this year's team (99-63). We knew that the series against Baltimore would likely crown the next champion. I took the day off from my afternoon job after college to watch game 1. Lamarr Hoyt was on the mound and the Sox won a nail-biter 2-1. The O's took the next two lopsided games, but we thought we had a chance in the final two with Britt Burns and then Hoyt again. Burns pitched an outstanding game, scoreless through nine but then that horrifying three run homer by Tito Landrum in the tenth. Tito Effing Landrum. We would never see Hoyt for game five and, as expected, Baltimore went on to crush the Phils in the WS.

During a series of very bland years in the 80s my interest drifted in and out. The Sox did nothing remarkable during that time, I had different things going in my life--finishing school, moving out, making ham-handed and unsuccessful passes at women out of my league (basically any woman with a pulse and reasonable personal hygiene). When the early 90s came around though, suddenly the White Sox had assembled a decent staff and some exciting players, led by Frank Thomas. When they finally hit their stride in '93, they looked poised to make some noise in the playoffs and they did...but again to no avail. I attended the frigid game five against the Jays that year. So many missed chances in that game. I distinctly remember Robin Ventura crushing a ball down the line with men on base...only to see it land a few feet foul. A late rally by Toronto put the game out of reach and the Sox couldn't touch Dave Stewart throughout the series. , another disappointing finish.

'94 should have been the year. On paper, it was. The Sox were in first place, had a great pitching staff and a solid lineup. Then the strike came. The Sox were a startling 67-46 when it came crashing down. Frank Thomas was batting .353 with 38 home runs with 101 RBI. The playoffs never took place. Of all years for a season-ending strike, why did it have to be this one? I think that year more than any other I felt like we were doomed. It just never seemed to be in the cards.

The 2000 season was the next foray into the playoffs, but this one would prove to be more fruitless than any of the previous post-season efforts. Once again, I found myself at game 2 (with Stoj!). But once again the Sox didn't hit in the clutch. A home run by Jay Buhner took the air out of everyone and an 0-2 deficit at home quickly turned into an 0-3 loss in Seattle. For all the build-up of the muscular Sox lineup during the season, they were unable to do much hitting in the playoffs.

So there I was, five years later, watching the impossible unfold. Every time something went wrong during a game I was convinced it was our death knell, the "thing" that everyone would write about years later as the moment that turned the tide against us and sent us down the familiar memory hole of postseason failures past. Oddly, it never happened. Every time something went wrong, it went bad for the other team for once. At no time did I allow myself to get comfortable. As each game passed I thought, ok we won this won but it can go south tomorrow. But it never happened. And there they are, World Champs.

And the Bears are in first place!

Miers Withdraws

2005-10-27T08:03:00.000-05:00

I'm so happy about this because now I don't have to read about Harriet Miers four thousand times a day.

Long Time Between Drinks

2005-10-27T00:06:00.000-05:00

Well, I've been sitting here for a few weeks being put through a meat grinder watching the playoffs and it culminated in a championship. Not much to say about it, except that is the best baseball team I've ever sweated it out with. World Champions at last. It gives me the shivers.

I leave you with a picture. It's time for a celebratory beer.

I thought I'd never see it

Why Is It Spelled Sox?

2005-10-24T10:49:00.000-05:00

Admittedly, I've never been particularly fanatic about baseball... I enjoy going to a game, and can get excited about it while I'm there, but I don't really follow any one team or watch the sport on TV very often. I'm one of those annoying people who roots for both Chicago teams.

So, with the (White) Sox in the World Series, I'd like to see them do well, even though it's not going to be devastating to me personally if they don't. I've watched these first 2 games, though, and I have to say that they've been great games -- exciting, even. Enough so that I look forward to Game 3, and wish I could watch the rest of them from overseas (darned time difference). The absence of shirtless father-son teams beating up old men at first base makes it all-the-more appealing.

So I guess I'm officially saying, "Go Sox."

I hope the bandwagon can support the extra weight.

Good Thing They Don't Work On Commission

2005-10-21T17:55:00.000-05:00

Earlier today...

"Welcome to Burger King. Would you like to try our 'chicken fries' value meal today?"
"Yes, I would."
...silence...
...silence...
...silence...
"Hello?"
"Yes, are you ready to order?"

See, the way it normally works is that if you ask a question, you're supposed to pay attention to the answer. Even if you work at Burger King.

"Appropriate Typo of the Week" Award Contender

2005-10-19T17:11:00.000-05:00

Lions: Harrington and Garcia spilt snaps

They're Getting the Banned Back Together

2005-10-17T17:17:00.000-05:00

Two new mouse experiments may show how to obtain human embryonic stem cells without ethical hurdles, a step that could allow federal funding for such research, scientists reported Sunday.

Objections to the embryo destruction have led to a ban on federal funding for such work, which scientists say hampers research.

Regardless of whether this new method ends up being a viable answer, I think it's fair to admit that the ban has only encouraged the scientists to find alternative means of reaching their goals. And if they end up finding a method that's acceptable to most reasonable sides, then so much the better.

Let The Man Speak

2005-10-17T17:07:00.000-05:00

Read this, and then read this, and explain to me how any opinion on the origins of life as we know it today can be considered anything more than a personal belief.

Darwin's "Theory" is at best a hypothesis, and one that has not yet been observed in experiment. For that matter, many of the opposing viewpoints haven't been observed, either. So far, the only relevant experiment I've seen is that humans keep producing baby humans, and not some other species altogether. Come to think of it, I don't recall ever hearing any reliable reports of one species conceiving and producing a different one.

I think the zeal with which people debate this issue further points to the various camps boiling down to personal beliefs. If anything could be dispassionately, scientifically, and conclusively demonstrated, then someone would show the world the answer and the argument would be over. Instead, people use volume to override reason.

So when it comes to issues like this one:

This week, Behe will testify in a federal courtroom in Harrisburg in a landmark case about whether students in a Pennsylvania classroom should be required to hear a statement before their evolution classes that says Darwin's theory is not a fact.

... my response is, "Good point."

Global Spewing

2005-10-15T15:34:00.000-05:00

Atomizer at Fraters Libertas puts global warming statistics in perspective. Vomit is involved; hilarity ensues.

I am being nice to Atomizer for the time being. He's still bitter about the White Sox success this season.

Klocek Speaks

2005-10-14T22:33:00.000-05:00

Marathon Pundit links to a new blog, FreeDePaul, dedicated to the case of wronged professor Thomas Klocek, suspended for not holding politically correct views about the so-called Palestinian cause. It's a good read and it's good to see Klocek telling his side of the story.

Finally

2005-10-14T15:35:00.000-05:00

For the first time this season, I can comfortably guarantee that the Illini will not lose a football game this weekend. Maybe.

Beethoven manuscript found after 115 years

2005-10-13T15:28:00.000-05:00

It was in the last place he looked.

Metal Gloves

2005-10-11T18:44:00.000-05:00

This is interesting, and all, but what happens when someone steals your finger?

Yeah, But How Does It Taste?

2005-10-11T18:32:00.000-05:00

WARREN, R.I. - A Rhode Island welder won a contest for the biggest pumpkin Monday with an entry weighing 1,443 pounds.

"Best day of my life. I got my family here, helped me grow it all year, what else is there to say?" said Palmer, who took home $3,500 as the victor.

I wonder how his wife and kids feel about not ranking at the top of the "Best Day of My Life" list.

Palmer's next projects include a 24-foot pie crust and a 5 gallon tub of Cool Whip.

More Power

2005-10-05T11:05:00.000-05:00

I want my MTV

2005-10-04T08:31:00.000-05:00

From The Corner:

San Francisco Mayor Gavin Newsom...said on Monday he considered wireless Internet access a fundamental right of all citizens.

Why stop there? I guess then cable TV and phone service should be free also. Hand out laptops, phones and TVs to everyone! It's all FREEEEEEEEE!

The Results Are In...

2005-09-30T23:09:00.000-05:00

You are a
Social Liberal
(63% permissive)

and an...
Economic Conservative
(71% permissive)

You are best described as a:

Libertarian

Link: The Politics Test on Ok Cupid
Also: The OkCupid Dating Persona Test

2005-09-26T13:27:00.000-05:00

Andrew Sullivan is having a hissy fit because of some book called "Help! Mom! There Are Liberals Under My Bed." Sully, beyond parody, asks,

"How can you tell when a political ideology has become the equivalent of a religion? When it attempts to indoctrinate 4 - 8 year olds."

You mean like this, Andrew?

Indoctrinated against Andrew's wishes.

Lady

2005-09-23T12:03:00.000-05:00

Sorry I didn't know you were coming up behind me due to my Ipod and lack of eyes in the back of my head. But maybe you shouldn't ride your bike on the sidewalk, holding a bag of groceries a towing your dog on a leash. That probably violates a few of the bicycle safety rules.

When I encountered you later, cursing at the top of your voice at your cell phone, I was sure to give you a wide berth.

Fiscal Conservatives, Where Art Thou?

2005-09-22T16:41:00.000-05:00

A lot of talk lately about fiscal conservatism vis-a-vis the relief of (particularly) New Orleans in the wake of Hurrican Katrina. I ran across this column by Walter Williams, which contains some startling quotes from former presidents. Read the whole thing, but I have to excerpt the quote from Grover Cleveland, which is stunning in its clarity. Can anyone imagine a contemporary president, Democrat or Republican, saying something like this:

"I find no warrant for such an appropriation in the Constitution, and I do not believe that the power and the duty of the General Government ought to be extended to the relief of individual suffering which is in no manner properly related to the public service or benefit."

The reference he makes is to drought-stricken farmers in Texas in 1887. True, they didn't have Willie Nelson to give concerts in those days, but a president today would be unforgiven for saying such a thing. My favorite part, though, is this:

"Federal aid in such cases encourages the expectation of paternal care on the part of the Government and weakens the sturdiness of our national character, while it prevents the indulgence among our people of that kindly sentiment and conduct which strengthens the bonds of a common brotherhood."

Emphasis added. I fear the days of true fiscal conservatism will be impossible to regain.

De-Palled

2005-09-21T08:16:00.000-05:00

I'm growing increasingly ashamed of the left-wing nuttiness from my alma mater. Marathon Pundit has a number of new entries outlining the latest, featuring Holocaust-denier Norman Finkelstein and Our Favorite Eichmann, Ward Churchill. Go here, here, and here. Or just go over there and scroll.

Former President Calls Himself A Liar

2005-09-18T21:11:00.000-05:00

Seven-year amnesia:

Breaking with tradition under which US presidents mute criticisms of their successors, Clinton said the Bush administration had decided to invade Iraq "virtually alone and before UN inspections were completed, with no real urgency, no evidence that there were weapons of mass destruction." --- Bill Clinton in 2005

"The community of nations may see more and more of the very kind of threat Iraq poses now: a rogue state with weapons of mass destruction, ready to use them or provide them to terrorists. If we fail to respond today, Saddam and all those who would follow in his footsteps will be emboldened tomorrow." -- Bill Clinton in 1998

UPDATE: Power Line has a bunch more.

Classic Steyn

2005-09-16T10:08:00.000-05:00

More evidence of Steyn greatness:

Well, I think we can always pay more attention to China. And particularly, I would say the Russian-Chinese border, which is going to become a huge flashpoint in the years ahead. Basically, China is slowly going to annex the Eastern part of Russia. That's my view. But at the same time, the idea that China's dictatorial government will not effectively impede its expansion to world power status, China has severe structural problems. I'll just give you one example. Their distorted birth rate, artifically distorted birth rate, which means they have this huge surplus of men. Unless they're figuring on becoming the first gay superpower since Sparta, that is going to be a huge issue for them. Where do these people go? They have got huge structural problems, and so this idea that China is going to supplant America around about 2050, I think is complete nonsense.

Hilarious.

Hitchens/Galloway Debate

2005-09-15T08:35:00.000-05:00

Will be on C-Span on Saturday. Interesting that the site lists Galloway and Amy Goodman and not Hitchens. From what I read last night it should be fun watching the carnage.

The debate is moderated by Amy Goodman. She is the author of The Exception to the Rulers: Exposing Oily Politicians, War Profiteers, and the Media That Love Them, published by Hyperion.

I'm sure she was an impartial moderator.

Hat tip to LGF.

How Can He Dance When Our Beds Are Burning?

2005-09-15T08:28:00.000-05:00

The time has come to say "fair's fair."